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But, she adds reassuringly, many of these youthful relationships, sustained largely by rumour and reputation, will have dissolved within days or weeks.
This causes parents to worry, and rightly so, as many kids are uncomfortable with or unable to handle the intimacy that comes with slow dancing or mixed-gender pyjama parties. But in terms of friendships between boys and girls, Connolly says that simply having friends of both sexes can be healthy and positive. Despite texting, email and instant messaging, most relationships still begin face-to-face. Martyn sees another trend: But this behaviour is more a reflection of our culture, drenched as it is in sexual imagery, than of freedom for gay kids to come out.
The good news, though, is that spending time with friends of both sexes could help a gay youth resolve important identity questions over the next several years. With so much pushing of the envelope, it may seem that there are no rules around relationships. Holding hands or a light kiss is fine, but nothing sloppy or roping. Catherine was appalled last year, in grade eight, to learn of a couple who got caught making out on school property by a lunch monitor.
Catherine was recently stunned to hear that her year-old cousin in Edmonton is in love with her boyfriend. We certainly bought it with Romeo and Juliet, and she was only 13!
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Connolly says that young adolescent relationships last from a few weeks to a year, with the average being four months. While some are extremely intense, others remain very casual. And despite our sex-saturated culture, sex is usually not a big part of young relationships. Only eight percent reported having sex before age 15, down from the previous 12 percent. And the latest teen pregnancy figures show a steady drop over the past couple of decades, especially among girls aged 15 to 17, according to the latest figures from SIECCAN, the Sex Information and Education Council of Canada.
Kim says that while she loves her boyfriend of two years, she has no plans to get married in her teens, as her own mother did.
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I need more time to grow. Katie says that marriage was something she and her girlfriends fantasized about in elementary school, but now they see it as a possibility in the far-off future, if ever. Since adolescent relationships are typically brief, breakups are common.