Dating someone in your band

Its that feeling of being on a team without your team mate that just sucks.

I would have special yoga classes and snow board trips and fun things that I enjoy that my husband may not love as much as I do. Then even though I was bummed that he was gone I still had my Sunday soccer game or next months snow board trip to look forward to. Hang in there and good luck with the bugs!

My husband is no longer in a band but he travels months out of the year for his job. He started traveling for work 3 years ago and has added on a few more weeks each year, this year being the worst. I am navigating my way through it and learning to love our crazy life. Thank you for being honest and open about your life. You are a gem.

Thank you so much for your post! My boyfriend of almost 14 years! Thank you for being you and sharing — I needed this! Hey Laura, I feel you! Even though my other half is home almost every night, I definitely identify with this struggle of jar opening! Thank you for also sharing the bad, and well done for being such a good band wife this post makes me feel bad for my latest comment…. I feel you, lady! I really enjoyed reading this. I am not in the same situation, but due to the circumstances I am living alone with furry friends!


Actually, your topic is very universal, it is about how to live your live on your own and be in a firm relationship with someone at the same time. I love your blog! I know how hard it is……. My boyfriend travels every other month to China for work and I hate it. It got old fast and I have those same struggles. I never woke up in a bed full of unidentifiable bugs ah! I can imagine you have these same fears if you want kids that is! Thanks for those tips! And I think Todd is super lucky to have a lady like you.

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Such a great post Laura. Thanks for being so open and honest too. You rock and are a big inspiration! Thank you for this post. My husband is also a musician and this post really resonates with me. This is what makes his blood flow. I am grateful to have such an amazing partner that inspires me with his passion and creativity. That being said, dealing with bed bugs all by yourself is a kind of hell-on-earth. My thoughts are with you during this particularly difficult time. I love this post! I have been in a very similar situation, though due to different circumstances. To make a long story short, my husband was transferred overseas a few years ago when we were still just dating; I basically dropped school, my work, social life, etc.

I can definitely relate to the huge learning curve that comes with having a traveling spouse. I especially like that you mentioned about complaing the right amount. I found I had to consciously remind myself that it was a choice we had made together to be in that situation. This was a fantastic post. You are an amazing, strong person. I hope your week gets better! I live in Amsterdam and just saw that Mutemath is coming to town in February!! Will you be coming along for that trip?

It would be fun to meet you! Oh man, I wish I could! Hope you get to go! I first met my now-husband almost 7 years ago when his band first officially started to tour. I was going through a pretty difficult transition and then having to learn to how deal with him traveling and being gone a lot was definitely a learning experience. I remember during those early days just loving our times together but also fighting a lot.

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We dated for 2 years before we got engaged and slowly each year, the band would pick up more and more dates. I love my husband. I love his ministry. I love being a part of it. But boy oh boy is it one of the most selfless things I could do.

Advice From One Band Wife to Another

I know this is an old post but I somehow came across it just when I needed to! But It definitely helps just hearing that I am not alone in the struggle. I had a major breakdown when our house was infested with ticks this past year, so I totally get that desperation. Your blog post saved me today. My boyfriend who I currently live with is about to leave for his first major, longer than 2 week tour and I have been having totally hard feelings about it.

Trying to be super optimistic and plan girls weekend trips and fill my time with my kitties and projects as well.

Thank you thank you for all of this blog! Just again, thank you. Our guitar players wife is unhappy and wants him to quit. I dont know how to help or if I even should. I can understand how she feels but its becoming a problem. Ooooh girl, bless this post.

Would you ever date someone in your band? - Ultimate Guitar

I need it right now. Glad it was helpful for you! Thank you so much for this post — it was truly helpful. My boyfriend is in a well known band. He has been gone all month, and will be gone all of January. How can you calm your thoughts during these moments of anxiousness? Like you said, building that strong communication is key. This whole post had me almost in tears but I am at work so I had to hold back I must be super emotional.

Thanks for letting your heart and soul out here it helps more than you know! You are such an inspirational lady, beautiful and kind — hardworking and humble. I need help, Been happy Married for 20 years he has been in soooooo many bands i have done my best always but it seems the older i get its getting harder and even worse now he is in three bands and the new one is a girl singer and they text every day for there new band they are forming.

Hope you figure out a good spot! Do you think men go through the same thing when their wife is gone on tour? I do know some band husbands! I know they definitely miss being together in the same way and have to make sacrifices or have certain careers if they want to be able to go out and visit on tour, etc. Thanks for the post. I realise you wrote this a few years ago but so relevant to my situarion. Tour life can be tough, living on a bus but being left home alone sucks. But it is totally amazing when you see the band playing in front of thousands and playing with bands they idealise.

Thank goodness for FaceTime and fur babies! I would be so lost without our dog. My guy of 5 years, is a well known muscian about to tour after many years in hybernation. It often feels like, the beginning of the end. Now, all those giggles are cursing me…and those old conversations are, loud and clear. I fear he will stray. I feel stupid to stick around -that the inevitable is around the corner.

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  • PS-we have six dogs and i awoke to weird bed bug bites recently too. About to loose my mind but, keeping cool. Oh man, I wish I knew what to tell you! It may be helpful just to help you see that you can stay or if you need to go…good luck, wish you the best! My boyfriend almost 4 years just left for a month long European Tour with his band. If you have time, I would appreciate your take on this scenario… Warning: I feel a little raw and emotional right now.

    Let me make this clear… I have always dated and fallen in love with musicians.

    Saturday, February 9, 2013

    As a female rocker with many years of touring behind me, I know what the road is like. He cheated on me while touring with this band 2 years, so more anxiety around that. This really hurts my feelings. I thought they were my friends. It makes some people uncomfortable and it changes the group dynamic that we rely on to play shows. Think about this for a minute: If your SO is in a band that has a tour bus, roadies, catered meals, and stays in five-star hotels, then you should definitely go on tour.

    Do not, under any circumstances, except for certain circumstances, discourage your partner from being in their band. We all need a passion and an opportunity to indulge in it. When your special friend gets to do the positive things he or she wants to do, this benefits you because now you are involved with a happier, more receptive person, which makes for a better relationship. If that person does cheat on you on the road, then guess what?

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